It's happening again, Rex has lost his job and we have no food. I try to keep a happy face for the kids, but I don't know if I can do it this time. Rex swears he's going to invent something great this time. I just don't know if I can believe him anymore. Maybe I should start from the beginning and all this will make more sense. I've never done this before, put my thoughts and feelings down. It's so much easier to forget it all and pretend it's not happening if none of us say anything....
Being married to Rex started off like a grand adventure. We were going to make it big and live the good life. I believed it could happen, too; until Lori was born. I knew life was going to change when she came into our lives, but Rex was as gungho as ever. He loves being a father, he's always been a big kid at heart. When I stopped teaching to stay home with Lori, I wasn't sure where life was going to take us. I never expected to be where we are now, that's for sure! Things didn't really go downhill until we lost Mary Charlene. Rex changed and I don't think he's ever gotten over it. Now he's obsessed with finding gold and coming up with the next "big thing." If only he could just keep a job.
Thanks to me, my kids are becoming self-sufficient. They've cooked for themselves from an early age and can take care of themselves. It works out great for me; I can get all these images out of my head and onto a canvas. The other mothers don't think I pay enough attention to the kids, but if I baby them all the time, how will they learn? These kids are resilient little buggers... they never complain.
I've tired of this. Writing doesn't give me nearly the satisfaction my painting does. This idea isn't letting me think clearly anyway. Maybe I'll try this again later.
~RMW
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